“My year at Soul, working alongside Wilhemeena, is best described by its journey. There is no way to capture in a few words what occurred during my time. From the day I walked into Soul Centre’s studio for my first cacao ceremony to the last meeting, I have been in a constant state of learning.
I began my year at Soul, learning how to run the front desk, organize events, answer emails, help with event set ups and just simply be an extra pair of hands for Willa. But then all of a sudden there was this talk about a virus…. the whole world was closing down, our country was closing its boarders and there was so much speculation about what was going to happen. Navigating the unknown and wondering where my role now stood wasn’t easy but the constant reminder of staying in a place of love, spoken beautifully by Willa, would ring in my ears each day. I continued to stand alongside Soul as the studio was closed, classes moved online, and a new portal was opened. I worked over zoom and remotely with Willa as she let go of the physical home of Soul. My heart broke and I shed tears for the beautiful studio in the trees that always vibrated with so much love and warmth. I watched as this physical space began to journey back to its creator. Home to the heart of every single person who had experienced its magic. Home to the memories and connections that were created in it. Home to the heart of where it began. Home to Willa.
I watched and supported as Willa went through the great changes and challenges that came with letting go of this magnificent space, she had built for the last 15 years. I watched quietly as I witnessed her change and grow in Souls new space, a woman of pure dedication and determination. I watched as she continued to give out to others, continued to offer her support and love to anyone who needed it. I sat in ceremony and danced through my room for many nights during lockdown with the Soul Tribe – it was all so new and unknown but lead by the strongest woman.
I know I didn’t have a typical year of being an intern at Soul – instead I was a part of a journey of change. Of returning and remembering. A journey of great discomfort, of loss and of rebirth. A journey like no other.
As the year moved on, we began to create a new normal, working out ways for Soul to thrive online and reach more people. Here in NZ, we began to return to normal life, and everything began to open up again. We were able to have our first in person events and connect in with the tribe again. Now was the time for figuring out what the future held for Soul. And alongside all of this, Willa asked me if I would like to have a couple of sessions with her now we could meet in person….
I will never forget the transformation and change that came from these hour-long sessions. There are few words that can describe the magnitude of power and wisdom I was able to witness. The biggest change? I finally let myself believe that becoming a mother was possible for me. My greatest desire. I worked deeply with my body to heal ancestorial wounds and let go of the stories that weren’t mine. I journeyed through dark times and some of the lightest times. People around me began to ask what I was doing as they noticed the change in me.
The first in person cacao ceremony that Soul was able to hold was a small circle of people gathered in Willa’s home. As I sat in that circle, I finally let myself trust that my dream was possible. That I would one day soon become a mother. I spoke those words in the circle and choked back tears as years and years of worry, stress and anxiety around whether it would ever happen for me, arrived at the surface.
Just over one month later, after strongly sensing a little being right beside me, I took a test. Something I avoided for as long as possible for fear of seeing the same thing as the times before. When I lifted the paper and saw two very strong red lines…. I truly understood how powerful the work was that I had been doing.
Working alongside Willa as her intern was the greatest adventure I have ever had. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity that taught me so many things and I am deeply grateful for it. I would never have known that it would bring me such a gift and as I journey into motherhood, I will continue to hold onto every little thing I learnt throughout my year with Soul. My deepest thanks go to Willa for everything – you are the purest light in this world.